Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into a frozen tundra, then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat your devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $39, you get an initial Invisalign examination (a $325 value) plus $1,000 to put toward the full teeth-straightening treatment. This Groupon can be redeemed at one of seven orthodontics centers across Dallas and Forth Worth (with a total of ten actual locations):

• Linda Crawford DDS, MS, P.C. in Dallas
• Benham Orthodontics in McKinney or Frisco
• Elvebak Orthodontics in Dallas or Plano
• Douglas R. Crosby Orthodontics on in Dallas or Richardson
• Robert R. George Orthodontics in Garland
• Smile Design Orthodontics in Grand Prairie
• Frank Stich Orthodontics in Coppell

Invisalign straightens crooked chompers through a combination of highly advanced, 3-D computer graphics and the spells of good old-fashioned orthodontia. Seven different practices feature orthodontists specially trained and certified in the Invisalign process, which eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of your mouth terrain ($325), will pave the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift your walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies with each customer (it can run anywhere from $2,000 to $8,000); this Groupon gets you $1,000 to put toward that final cost. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn over a period of six to 15 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw. Call your location of choice to set up an appointment.