Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get an initial Invisalign examination, x-rays, and impressions (up to a $450 value) plus $1,000 toward the full teeth-straightening treatment. Choose from the following locations:

• Centerville Family Dental in Centerville.
• Kettering Centerville Dental in Dayton.
• Kondas Dental Group in Huber Heights.
• Dr. Michael W. McConnell in Beavercreek.
• North Dayton Dental in Dayton.

Invisalign straightens crooked chompers with a combination of highly advanced 3-D computer graphics and the spells of old-fashioned orthodontia. The Invisalign process eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial 30-minute exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of your mouth terrain, paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies for each customer (it can run anywhere from $3,500 to $8,000); this Groupon gets you $1,000 toward that final cost. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn during a period of 6–15 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.