Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly, yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into a frozen tundra and rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Quash the plans of devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $49, you get an initial Invisalign examination with x-rays and impressions (a $325 value), plus $1,000 to put toward the full teeth-straightening treatment.

This Groupon can be redeemed at one of nine orthodontics centers across the Houston area (with a total of 14 actual locations):

• Clear Choice Orthodontic on Bammel-Westfield Road, in Kingwood or in The Woodlands
• Drs. Jennings & Tottenham Orthodontics on Memorial Drive or in Katy
• Houston Orthodontics on Frankway Drive or Space Center Orthodontics on Clear Lake City Boulevard
• Drs. Fred A. Garrett and Richard W. Boyd Jr. in Sugar Land
• Bellaire Family Orthodontics in Bellaire
• Dr. Gerardo Guajardo of Baytown Orthodontics in Baytown
• Hagan Orthodontics in Cypress
• Muirhead Orthodontics in Spring or Magnolia
• Nasir Orthodontics in Houston

Invisalign straightens crooked chompers through a combination of highly advanced 3-D computer graphics and the enchanting spells of good old-fashioned orthodontia. Each practice features doctors specially trained and certified in the Invisalign process—including some categorized as Elite and Premier Providers—which eschews burdensome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of your mouth terrain ($325), will pave the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift your walnut crackers into perfect alignment. The total cost of an Invisalign treatment varies with each customer (it can run anywhere from $2,000 to $8,000); this Groupon gets you $1,000 to put toward that final cost. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn over a period of six to fifteen months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw. Call your location of choice to set up an appointment.

Reviews

Seventy-nine percent of more than 400 Real Self users say Invisalign is worth it.

• I feel it's a great way to improve your smile in an unobtrusive way…Words can't describe how excited I am for the ultimate end result, when I can finally smile with full confidence! – blondesunshine
• After only 4 months of minor inconvenience, my teeth are totally gorgeous. – a_a_a