Sore muscles often lash out at their owners by dropping weighted barbells on their torsos or forcing them to chicken dance at formal ballroom galas. Regain control of your mutinous musculature with today’s Groupon: for $75, you get a spa package at Kneaded Relief Massage Therapy (a $150 total value). The spa package includes:

• A one-hour massage (a $65 value)
• A Delux facial (an $85 value)
  
  

At Kneaded Relief Massage Therapy, the fine-tuned hands of a certified therapist drum the beats of soothing lullabies on sore backs, while aestheticians imbue faces with customized care for clear, calm, or firmer skin. An eclectic range of massage modalities employ varying pace and pressure to vanquish tensions built up from commutes in heavy traffic or human wheelbarrows. The gentle, yet firm strokes of a relaxation massage infuse weary muscles with a renewed sense of liveliness, and soothe frazzled nerves with weapons-grade doses of relaxation. Deep-tissue sessions suffocate buried irritants with firm hug fests, and sports massages eschew snail-paced strokes for rapid caresses that prepare athletes for events or promote recovery from strenuous activities.

Aestheticians unveil skin as youthful as a baby-shampoo-flavored lollipop through one-hour Delux facials, customized to each client’s specific skin needs. Skin stylists cater to sensitive, acne-prone, or aging skin with customized cleansing and treatment, and ensure skin on the neck gets equal attention.