Though often regarded as instinct, fighting is actually a skill acquired in the womb, where all babies must defeat their evil selves in order to be born. Further prenatal training with today's deal: for $28, you get one month of unlimited fighter fitness, boxing, or kickboxing classes at Laselva Mixed Martial Arts (up to an $85 value). This Groupon can be redeemed over any four-week span within the next four months.

Laselva Mixed Martial Arts trains aspiring high kickers through martial-arts programs developed from both sport and traditional Asian styles, all within the confines of a 20,000-square-foot, fully-stocked facility. Students jab, hook, and roundhouse kick, to build stamina and relieve stress, when shouting at sentient beanbag chairs is no longer fruitful. Build a solid bodily foundation with black-belt kickboxing instructor Marcio Navarro, whose kickboxing classes integrate Muay Thai and traditional kickboxing, or pursue the fundamentals of bag work and sparring with a boxing class led by Johnny Papin, who has coached silver gloves, golden gloves, and world champion boxers. Fighter Fitness courses challenge students with an array of ever-evolving activities, including weight training, battling ropes, and rigorous macramé sessions. Though Laselva Mixed Martial Arts offers a discount for children under 18, only kids 8 years old and up can attend.