In one of Mother Nature’s greatest practical jokes, she made inner beauty twice as powerful as outer beauty, then concealed it behind the sternum, where only thoracic surgeons could appreciate it. Cultivate your exterior appeal instead with today's Groupon: for $599, you get six laser body-contouring treatments at the Liposuction & Cosmetic Surgery Institute’s Gold Coast location (a $1,200 value). This Groupon is valid for treatment on the arms, stomach, inner thighs, saddlebags, buttocks, neck, or love handles.

The Liposuction & Cosmetic Surgery Institute targets cellulite and tightens slack skin with noninvasive treatments using the Accent LX laser. During the treatment, bipolar radio frequency infiltrates deep into the skin, stimulating collagen production to help tighten up the outer layer and leave patients less likely to be mistaken for melty wax statues. Sessions can last up to 45 minutes each, smoothing cellulite from thighs or love handles, or reducing wrinkles and sagging skin on the face, neck, or arms. As technicians comb the laser's beam over the dermal terrain, some patients may experience mild heat discomfort, though others describe the sensation as similar to a warm massage. Patients may experience slight redness for 24 hours after the procedure.

Like the Supreme Court’s fortnightly Scrabble tournaments, treatments take place at two-week intervals. Patients will generally notice optimal tone and texture after six to eight treatments; those who wish to do so can purchase six more treatments directly from the Institute for an additional $599.