It takes about 15 muscles to smile, 50 to frown, and 148 to save a curbside couch from life in a landfill. Soothe sympathetic sinews with today's Groupon: for $19, you get a 30-minute therapeutic massage at Lunar Massage, with locations in Adams Morgan and Mount Vernon (a $38 value).

Lunar Massage's professionals relieve pain and tension through customer-focused massage sessions. Experienced massage therapists employ their wealth of techniques to target specific problem zones on clients, who remain fully clothed during the procedure. Exposed body parts can be treated with a light cream to enhance the intensity of the clothes-on massage. Committed to improving overall health and well-being, achy muscle assassins slay bodily stress often caused by back pain, anxiety, depression, headaches, and misdirected woodpeckers. While the no-frills, open massage studio does not boast private rooms, partitions ensure privacy and ideal secret-telling conditions.