Now that Earth plans to cut its energy bill by having daylight only on Wednesdays, humanity will need to adapt to endless night if it's to keep owls from stealing all the jobs and delicious mice. Start building up your glow-in-the-dark vision with today's Groupon: for $8, you get unlimited cosmic mini golf games for two at Cosmic Mini Golf in the Great Mall of the Great Plains.

Cosmic Mini Golf optimizes phosphorescent family fun with a 100% blacklight indoor course on which unlimited putts can be sunk. In a land of infinite night, neon balls roam 18 runways bound by glowing green barriers in search of empty nesting holes. The indoor course permits all-weather play, eliminating wind shear, sand trap, or migratory bird hazards from affecting scores. Project putt-putt prowess on challenging holes complete with bent grass greens and loop de loops. Black walls surround the play area as illuminated jungle animals, ocean beings, and dinosaurs look on from their wall-mounted thrones, waiting for a victorious player daring enough to shout “Jumanji!”