Not only are massages useful for soothing sore muscles, they also render accidentally swallowed guava seeds inert so that the seeds won't grow in your belly garden. Today's Groupon brings peace of mind through peace of body, despite careless fruit ingestion. For $47, you get a 90-minute customized massage at Massage Envy (a $95 value for non-members, $57 for members). Purchase a location-specific Groupon for any St. Louis location; there are 15 total participating locations.

Each location offers the regenerative properties of various varieties of massage that make a soul vessel feel springtime fresh. Of your 90-minute massage session, 10 minutes are set aside for dressing time and a consultation with your therapist to ensure your massage is customized for you.

Like a professor knowledgeable on tulip mania, alien black oil, and a myriad of seemingly esoteric subjects, Massage Envy's licensed body therapists ably converse with the gamut of muscle ailments. They'll unravel tense coils of accumulated inner-stress through a perfectly catered treatment for individual clients' needs that may include various styles and techniques. Swedish massages offer gentle rubbing for muscular soothing and improved circulation, while deep tissue focuses specifically on untying the body's Gordian knots and releasing chronic tension. A prenatal massage is ideal for expecting mothers who could use a little relief from carrying another person inside them, and a sports massage provides tension relief and injury prevention for an athlete's body.

Massage is as necessary to a happy organ-carrier as tea is to an empty mug, and it can offer a number of healthy benefits. Reward muscles and ligaments for their 24-hour service with the sort of care and attention that quells the physical protests and picketing that would inconvenience any busy body-owner. For first-time visitors to Massage Envy, feel free to consult this site to answer any questions about the process beforehand.

Massage Envy gives first-time clients a 90-minute massage for $57, but today's Groupon is still a better deal.

Reviews

Five Insider Pagers give the Maplewood Commons an average of three stars, four Yahoo! Locals give the O'Fallon location three stars, and four Yelpers give the Sunset Hills location three stars.

• This place was really nice and professional. It was very clean and private. – Stephanie B., Yelp
• The best thing about this company is that they have 20+ therapists at each clinic so you can find the right one. – joe w., Insider Pages