Mankind's feeble climbing skills and inability to digest delicious tin cans are two ways in which evolution left humans inferior to goats. Channel an inner mountain goat with today's Groupon to MetalMark Climbing & Fitness. Choose between the following options:

• For $26, you get an Intro to Climbing class for two people (a $52 value).
For $75, you get a one-month membership (a $159 value including $100 initiation fee).

At MetalMark Climbing & Fitness, patrons rove across 12,000 square feet of climbing terrain. During an introductory class, climbing duos ages 14 and older spend an hour learning safe climbing practices from guides who took high-school gym class with Spiderman. Wall climbers learn the skills involved in knot tying, basic top-rope climbing, and proper use of belay equipment. Once sufficiently edified, explorers may equip themselves with included rental gear and spend the day conquering the venue’s 40-foot lead wall in preparation for a visit to a mountaintop Taco Bell.

A one-month membership allows climbers unlimited access to the facility for 30 days. Patrons of all skill levels can hone their climbing chops and attend athletic and social events such as competitive Sisyphean boulder pushing. Climbers who renew their memberships ($59/month) after using this Grouponl gain access to all seven Touchstone gyms.