Though scientists have determined that the greatest weight loss occurs from wrestling tigers and riding stampeding wildebeests, reports are mixed on the long-term effects of the resulting terror. Slim down without prolonged adrenaline highs with today's Groupon: for $99, you get a four-week Optima XH rapid-weight-loss program from NutriMedical Wellness and Weight Loss Institute, redeemable at any of the seven Dallas-area locations (a $699 value). Groupon customers also receive two $50 vouchers for use on separate purchases over $100 each of wellness or weight-loss products.

The staff at NutriMedical Wellness and Weight Loss Institute aims to guide clients to the peaks of better health through natural and holistic programs. The Optima XH program is designed to kick off or accelerate prolonged weight loss with a powerful jolt of pound-blasting modalities. Physicians craft the program to match the distinct body composition of each client with a complete biometric-analysis-bundled physical, a comprehensive nutritional evaluation, and an astute assessment of lifestyle, environment, and Pac-Man score. NutriMedical’s minds process the information and produce custom daily eating and exercise plans, accented by two nutritional life-coaching sessions.

The Optima XH program also includes supplements that can help clients shave away extraneous weight so they can fit more effortlessly into figure-flattering dresses or slim lockers during nostalgic high-school reunions. Thirty days worth of CarbBlocker XR help to block unwanted sugars and starches and aid the metabolism in its food-burning quest. A four-week supply of NutriMedical's proprietary NutriPex weight-loss supplement aids the body in its fat-shaving quest by expanding within the stomach and simulating feelings of fullness earlier. A personal nutrition coach is on call for 24-hour chat or phone support for those with questions about the program, or plagued by dreams of angry Twinkies demanding consumption or else.