The vertebral column consists of four separate regions, all of which are secretly conspiring to invade and overthrow the others, to painful effect. Put an end to civil back wars with today's Groupon: for $35, you get an exam, x-rays, and a 30-minute massage at Parkhill Chiropractic and Wellness Center (a $340 value), located in Keller. The massage will be performed during a second appointment after a proper assessment has been given.

Parkhill Chiropractic is the brain baby of Doctor of Chiropractic Wade Parkhill, a fully licensed chiropractor who takes the holistic approach to fixing your back burdens, but also considers the whole-body approach to healing. Put your best back forward during a comprehensive initial exam, consultation, and x-ray session ($300), after which Dr. Parkhill will discuss the hardened tortilla chips that showed up lodged in your spinal cavities. On the next appointment, you'll lay comfortably for a 30-minute massage ($40), as kempt hands soothe aching muscles, like a mother penguin nuzzling her frigid fledgling in the Nebraska cold. This deal also allows you to add a notch on your karma belt, as part of the proceeds will go to Casey's Kids, a local charity. Call ahead to schedule an appointment.

New clients only.