Pizza, much like the Earth, is circular, flat, and supports the existence of Karl Malone. Get some with today's Groupon: for $5, you get $10 worth of pizza and Italian fare at Pizza King in League City.

Owner Peter Giovanniello crafts his secret sauce with tomatoes culled from the same grower used by his Naples-born father, who perfected the recipe more than forty years ago. A variety of New York–style pies populate the menu, including the all-meat pizza ($12 for a medium), which serves as an arena upon which pepperoni, sausage, ham, beef, and bacon battle for flavor supremacy. Fix a modest hankering by selecting pizza by the slice ($1.85 for cheese, $2.08 for pepperoni) or a small 9-inch cheese pizza ($5; $0.50 for extra toppings), which can also double as an edible frisbee. For eats of the non-pie variety, customers can plunge their fangs into the restaurant's selection of calzones ($5+), strombolis ($5+), and wings ($6–$7).