Tennis, so named for the tenfold increase in court size over its precursor, ping pong, is the only sport to combine the thrill of swatting balls at your opponent with the high ceremony of the "racquet swap." Improve your skills in this illustrious sport with today’s Groupon: for $65, you get an annual membership and a 30-minute private lesson at Plaza Tennis Center (a $240 total value).

Plaza Tennis Center boasts an oasis of 14 well-lit outdoor courts surrounded by a tile-roofed clubhouse and 4.5 acres of greenery planted in the heart of Kansas City. The annual membership is a tennis fiend’s key to playing all spring, summer, and fall with no court fees apart from a mandatory $2 charge if you play after 7:30 p.m., which covers the cost of court lights as well as counseling sessions for routinely frustrated moths ($210 value). Members can call ahead to schedule themselves a court for practice time.

To get the most out of your new net proximity, today’s deal also includes a 30-minute adult private lesson ($30 value). Plaza Tennis Center’s ace pro trainers hail from the Kansas City United Tennis program. These green-sphere gurus can sharpen the swings of 90-year-old beginners, 7-year-old prodigies, and ageless Burt Reynolds action figures. If you’re uncertain whether your serve is serviceable or hazardous to airborne creatures, your instructor will conduct an on-court skill evaluation and discuss areas for improvement at the end of the session. After your lesson, use your confident new swing to ward off spitballs, lob cupcakes to men trapped in clock towers, and give high threes to the outstretched claw of a pterodactyl.