Without witty quotes, the written word would be a barren wasteland of technical manuals, only enlivened by the occasional misprint that causes computers to gain sentience. Avoid a singularity with today’s Groupon to Quips ‘n’ Quotes. Choose between the McAllen and Harlingen locations.

Boasting “50,000 things to make somebody happy,” Quips ‘n’ Quotes stocks a plethora of gifts and collectibles to throw a wrench into your next sadness convention. Aromatize your abode with the store’s selection of Yankee Candles and Aromatique products, or go back on your pledge to live in 24-hour darkness thanks to a La Tee Da lamp. Find an ornate ornament for the wrist or neck of a loved one with selections from Swarovski, then mail a sliced-tree communiqué about your discovery from the on-site post office (post-office purchases are not included in the Groupon). As you shop, sip a coffee or cappuccino from the Holy Cow! Coffee Club, also located inside the store, and pair it with some premium chocolates from Godiva.