Click above to buy a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/22/09 at 11 a.m. Click below for other showtimes and prices:

• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/18/09 at 10 a.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/18/09 at 1 p.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/18/09 at 4 p.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/18/09 at 9:30 p.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/19/09 at 9 a.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/20/09 at 9 a.m.
• Buy here a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/22/09 at 11 a.m.
• Buy here a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/23/09 at 11 a.m.
• Buy here a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/26/09 at 10 a.m.
• Buy here a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/27/09 at 9 a.m.
• Buy here a $65 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 12/30/09 at 11 a.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 1/1/10 at 2 p.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 1/2/10 at 11 a.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 1/3/10 at 11:30 a.m.
• Buy here a $40 ticket to Radio City Christmas Spectacular on 1/3/10 at 5 p.m.

As everyone knows, it’s not officially the Christmas season until a legion of Rockettes get in a line and do a series of simultaneous high kicks, creating a gale-force wind that blows holdout leaves off trees—the signal for Tiny Tim to release the reindeer. Today’s deal dance starts the holiday season for DC: a ticket to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular featuring the Rockettes at the Radio City Music Hall, a $105 value during peak times and a $75 value during non-peak times. Your Groupon will get you the best seats available at the time of redemption, so take your Groupon to the box office as soon as you can, preferably utilizing quantum-uncertainty principles in order to get there before you actually arrive. Three hundred seats are available for each show.

Though special effects and revamps have been added to the show during its 77-year history, the Rockettes and their master of ceremonies, Santa Claus, know better than to mess with what works and have tastefully avoided pandering to America’s obsession with Hulk-related products and bombastic laser-light shows. Expect to see all your favorite numbers, including the teddy bear “Nutcracker,” the parade of tin soldiers, the Nativity, and, of course, 1,000 high kicks delivered with military precision.

The Rockettes were originally a WWII super-soldier program gone awesome, when a military scientist tried to impress his dancer date by cloning her 35 times. After a disastrous attempt to weaponize these early Rockettes (which required government officials to erase all historical mention of the 51st state, Calizona), the military discovered that the Rockettes were far better at spreading joy and holiday cheer to the entire family through the universal language of kicking—a tradition the dance troupe continues every year upon emerging from a deep cryo-sleep.

You will not receive your Groupon until the morning of Friday, December 18.

Reviews

The New York Times was quite complimentary of this year’s Christmas Spectacular: > * The dance routines overseen by Linda Haberman, the show’s director and choreographer, retain the flash and sparkle of a Ziegfeld or Busby Berkeley production; the music played by the Radio City orchestra is a compendium of the seasonal songbook. And by the end, “The Living Nativity/Joy to the World,” with its wise men and camels, donkeys and sheep, brought the audience to its feet, singing the hymns and applauding reverentially. – Daniel M. Gold, New York Times