Fear is the secret to happy marriages and lasting friendships and the final ingredient in numerous madman-created serums. Stock up on elixir components with today's Groupon: for $40, you get two VIP passes to Raisin Hell Ranch in Madera (up to an $80 value). Passes are valid on Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday nights.

Raisin Hell Ranch wrings gasps and screams from horror-seeking psyches with three scare-generating attractions. VIP pass-holders skip sprawling queues at all three attractions, ignoring lines with the insouciance of an entitled princeling on their way to spine-tingling seasonal scares. Inspect the foreboding stalks of Scarecrow's Revenge, dropping into a cornfield populated with carnivorous strawmen thirsting for the human vitality that prolongs their unlife and helps them win the ranch’s annual blood drive. Chupacabra Feast sets guests' fear-resistant equipoise against hordes of goat-hating hellbeasts. After eluding external creeps and internal fear of candy corn, guests escape to the Black-Out Maze's 2.5 miles of lightless twists and turns, staying on edge thanks to spooky noises, roving monsters, and claustrophobic dead ends.

Though Raisin Hell Ranch sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still offers the best deal available.