Evolution deprived humans of their natural foot wheels, as such swift locomotion was too fun to be an effective survival tool. Deal a mortal blow to evolution’s cold advances with today’s rolling Groupon: for $6, you get admission, skate rental, a slice of pizza, and a drink (up to a $13 total value) at Rollerama. You can redeem this Groupon at the Rollerama location on 34th Street or at the Rollerama West location on Brimhall Road. This Groupon is valid for public skate sessions on Wednesdays from 6:30p.m.–8:30 p.m., on Fridays and Saturdays from 7p.m.–10 p.m., and on Saturdays and Sundays from 1p.m.–4 p.m.

The spacious rinks at Rollerama are ideal gliding grounds for skaters of all ages. Whether guests use their Groupons for admission (up to a $7 value) to the blue-tinted rolling spaces of Rollerama West or the polished hardwood floors at the 34th Street location, there’s plenty of space to practice basic turns and slaloms, or grab an unwitting partner with whom to perform parallel whirling dervishes. Skate rental (up to a $3 value) is included in the deal, as well as a slice of pizza ($2) and a small soda ($1) to refuel limb federations worn out by hours of chasing an imaginary white rabbit. Concession stands stand at attention to provide customers with any needed additional nourishment.

After the skater’s high wears off, defer the onset of post-rollum depression by amusing yourself with Rollerama’s vast variety of video games, or hold a family huddle to reignite your collective passion for spinning in circles, ovals, and logarithmic spirals.