Massage is a time-honored method of alleviating stress, as is the ancient art of crafting origami swans out of midterm exams. Ace relaxation with today’s Groupon to Royal Table Massage Therapy, LLC. Choose from the following options:

• For $75, you get a 60-minute couples massage (a $150 value).
• For $88, you get the 60-minute Royal couples massage (a $175 value).
• For $100, you get the 60-minute Paris couples massage (a $200 value).<p>

The licensed massage therapists at Royal Tables Massage Therapy, LLC bring couples to newfound states of relaxation with massage therapy performed in the comforts of a private room. During the basic couples massage, each half of the duo gets its own massage therapist and personal cheerleading squad and chooses from Swedish, sport, or deep-tissue modalities. The Royal treatment supplements the basic massage with the soothing scents of aromatherapy candles and garnishes the floor and tables with red rose petals. Couples can teleport to Paris for a massage that takes the pampering process a step further, endowing each newly kneaded couple with postmassage slices of cheesecake and a take-home bouquet of red roses so that twosomes have enough roses to clench between the teeth while tangoing all the way home.