Stress accumulates in the human body like cat hair in Silly Putty, hindering our ability to bounce off walls and decorate our skins with the Sunday funnies. Have your stress kneaded away and your body-putty re-sillied with today's deal: for $35, you get an hour-long massage (up to a $75 value) at Royal Table Massage near Augustana College. You'll get to choose from the following types of massage: Swedish, sports, deep tissue, stone therapy, chair reflexology, neck soothers, energy balancing, cranial-sacral therapy, or massage cupping (an additional $20 fee). This Groupon is not valid for the traveling massage, couples massage, or the N' Sync massage (given by Joey Fatone).

Royal Table has been coaxing stress from the shoulders of Sioux Falls since 2001 and specializes in helping people recover from injury both minor and severe, including repetitive motion, poor posture, and poor lifting habits. Upon arrival, one of two experienced massage therapists, owner Rebecca Herrmann or Mindy, will guide you through the studio's dark, wood-paneled walls, Eastern-influenced bamboo, and potted plants to a warmly appointed treatment room lit softly from a window covered in gossamer drapes, which both safeguard privacy and help you ignore the hideous gremlin that's dismantling the wing of the studio. Though you get to pick the style, Rebecca and Mindy tailor each massage to the individual until tension and stress flow from your muscles like so much gravy from a punctured gravy-bag. Rebecca has been practicing massage therapy for nine years, ever since she graduated from an intensive program at the South Dakota School of Massage Therapy, so she knows how to balance top-heavy energies, drain toxic body swamps, and wholly relax both the mind and body. All massages come with a complimentary hot towel and stone therapy

With the Big Thaw on the way, Royal Table Massage can thaw your limbs from rigid two-by-fours back into nimble flesh and blood. Use today's Groupon to kick-start the spring by leaving stress from stressful things such as jobs and stress in the depths of Old Man Winter's musty pockets. Call ahead to schedule your appointment.