Less prone to explosions, bird collisions, and painful butt-burns, the Segway has edged out the jetpack as the official ride of the 23rd century. Today's Groupon gives you the chance to practice on these leisurely chariots of fire, lest the future overtake you at 12.5 miles per hour: for $40, you get a two-hour tour of New Orleans (an $80 value) from Segway New Orleans Tours, located in the French Quarter.

Segway New Orleans Tours glides groups of around eight sightseers through historic neighborhoods via the smoothly moving, self-balancing medium of the Segway. Before the tour, you'll learn how to safely maneuver these electric, horseless chariots, whose basics are easy to conquer within a few minutes of practice. Your amicable, NOLA-knowledgeable tour guide will breezily direct your group through the French Quarter into Jackson Square, then down the Riverwalk next to the muscular Mississippi River, sharing anecdotes along the way about the myriad historical figures who once rode Segways through the cobbled streets.

To preserve the moment, Segway New Orleans Tours will gladly snap pictures of you commandeering your two-wheeled transport and send them directly to your email, bypassing the troubles of potential travel-based picture loss and Polaroid paper cuts. Learn historical nuggets during your rolling saunter through the city that Andrew Jackson once called "the city of moist towelettes" with today's Groupon. Call ahead to reserve your spot, as tours are subject to availability.

Tour times vary throughout the year, so call ahead.