The first parachute was invented when Jack, tumbling haplessly from his titanium beanstalk, used a purloined pair of giant underpants to steady his fall. Glide to earth safely with today's Groupon: for $125, you get a tandem sky-diving session from Skydive Missouri (a $199 value).

Skydive Missouri chaperones gravity-prone thrill seekers back to earth with the help of a trained team of champion skydivers. An all-encompassing two-hour instruction session prepares aerial enthusiasts for the basics of earth-bound homecomings, covering topics of equipment, aircraft procedures, instructions for free falling, and how to make cheeks flap wildly. After safely soaring thousands of feet above ground, a licensed, professional plane-ditcher, and aspiring human backpack, straps to customers and leaps into a free-falling duet, complete with all of sky-diving's pleasure, but none of the stress of having to locate elusive ripcords. While still safely plummeting at increased altitudes, a state-of-the-art square parachute deploys, providing ample time for free-fallers to say their goodbyes to clouds they've befriended while frolicking in the sky. The skilled gravity tempters at Skydive Missouri have completed more than 15 high-altitude aircraft exits with physically impaired divers, providing exhilarating experiences for all enthusiastic cloud-hoppers.