Soccer, or football, puts its emphasis on the human foot, largely to keep it safe now that delinquent hands are using real rocks, paper, and scissors in their games. Keep feet from falling in with a bad crowd with today's Groupon: for $10, you get six weekly youth soccer classes at SoccerZone in Jenison (up to a $72 value). This deal is only valid for Session No. 2 classes, which run from November 1 to December 17.

Built on the teachings of former pro soccer player Mike Garrett, SoccerZone runs young midfielders around an indoor field during biweekly classes divided by age. Recent graduates from walking academy can achieve a PhD in ambulation with Mommy & Me (Daddy Too!) programs for 3-year-old dribblers. On the other end of the soccer spectrum, Super Shooters for students aged 9–12 focus on league play, fostering the kind of camaraderie best expressed through matching tie-dyed knee socks. Classes for the younger set focus on the basics of ball handling, such as dribbling, shooting, and passing, and all levels aim to both improve current kickers and recruit new players. Scorers who want to continue taking classes at SoccerZone can do so after paying a $12 annual enrollment fee in addition to course fees.