Like glaciers and tectonic plates, teeth are slowly yet surely on the move as they attempt to turn their host’s mouth into frozen tundra and then rip it apart like a bite-size Pangaea. Defeat devious teeth with today’s Groupon: for $2,999, you get a complete Invisalign treatment at Southside Dental Pavilion (a $6,000 value).

A graduate of Pittsburgh's School of Dental Medicine with more than 30 years of experience, Southside Dental Pavilion's Ron DiCarlo D.M.D beautifies bites with help from Invisalign––a combination of highly advanced, 3-D computer graphics and the spells of old-fashioned orthodontia. The Invisalign process eschews cumbersome braces for clear, removable aligners that are virtually invisible to the unclothed eye. An initial exam, including x-rays, photos, and impressions of your mouth terrain, paves the way for a flurry of calibrated teeth sheaths that are designed to slowly shift walnut crackers into perfect alignment. This deal also includes any posttreatment retainers needed to keep newly straightened smiles from shifting back out of line. View some Invisalign FAQs here.

Depending on the client’s teeth, as few as 12 or as many as 48 separate aligners will need to be worn during a period of 6–15 months before the straightening effect finally self-actuates in a sudden burst of pink smoke and slobber. Aligners are only removed when eating, brushing, flossing, or modeling a finely clenched jaw.