Since the rise of the Internet, people have struggled to tear their now-useless phone books in half. Bulk up to succeed where others have failed with today’s Groupon to Spa 23 Health & Racquet Club in Pompton Plains. Choose between the following options:

• For $59, you get a two-month Platinum Membership (a $170 value).
For $149, you get a two-month Platinum Membership and five additional personal-training sessions (a $440 total value).

Spa 23 Health & Racquet Club helps its members reach their fitness goals with sweat-inducing amenities that include an indoor Olympic-sized pool, more than 70 TV-equipped cardio machines, and consultations with fitness professionals. With all-hours access between Monday at 5 a.m. and Saturday at 8 p.m., and from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Sundays, Platinum Members can take full advantage of Spa 23’s fleet of weight-training equipment, a racquetball court, and studio space that houses more than 60 group exercise classes each week. Exercisers can simultaneously bend, stretch, and coil like the mattress springs of the future in yoga or improve core strength in mat Pilates while kids play under the watchful eye of CPR-certified staff in the complimentary nursery. Free monthly nutrition orientations with Spa 23’s registered dietitian help guests concoct a series of health-minded goals and let members stay abreast of science’s latest attempts in making three-hole-punch remnants edible.

Guests can bolster their gym-going experience with five one-hour personal-training sessions, led by a qualified coach who assesses their fitness profile and drafts a series of short-term and long-term goals. With a roster of instructors who specialize in various fields such as martial arts and yoga, trainees will learn techniques to keep them fit, trim, and strong enough to hold their own in any back-alley watermelon-hurling contest.