In addition to the humiliation of being buried by dogs and dug up by science teachers, skeletons are ornery because they lack the musculature necessary to get massaged. Avoid taking your skin for granted with today's deal: for $69, you get an hour-long massage and a digital skin analysis with a signature facial (a $240 total value) at The Spa at Spring Ridge in Wyomissing.

The Spa at Spring Ridge features a wide variety of medical and traditional spa services performed by an experienced staff that includes nationally certified massage therapists and aestheticians, all supervised by a board-certified plastic surgeon. The epidermal entertainments begin with an hour-long massage that combines Swedish techniques with hot stone therapy to stimulate circulation and relieve deep muscle tension. The face's body envy is soon soothed with a steamed cleansing that employs natural enzymes to impel cellular renewal, and a hydrating mask that exfoliates pores, revitalizes skin tone, and removes all traces of fake plumber moustaches, all while clients enjoy a light hand and arm massage. The final chapter is a Visia Complexion Digital Analysis, which peers into the depths of your skin's soul to spot wrinkles, spots, and other facial boogiemen.

The Spa at Spring Ridge combines the palliative power of doctor brains with the soft hands of trained spa technicians. Their dedication to soothing customers extends to the naturally lit varnish and marble-style interior, décor that brims with the casual elegance of a denim bridal gown.