Inaccessible to the hands, back musculature often falls prey to freeloading "kick me" signs and hitchhiking parrots. Liberate a beleaguered back with today's Groupon: for $32, you get a one-hour massage at Spa Neo in Clayton (up to a $70 value).

A medical-grade spa that focuses on skin-spiffying treatments, Spa Neo boasts a professional staff of certified massage therapists who banish aches and maintain a personable, small-town vibe. The massage menu showcases six different muscle-tenderizing practices, each custom-tailored to clients' individual needs. Deep-tissue and trigger-point therapy hone in on meddlesome knots formed by injury, stress, or overzealous participation in competitive pattycake. Classic relaxation massage draws on Swedish techniques to relieve tension, while Reiki massage employs spiritual hand-laying to correct both physical and mental imbalance. Hot-stone massage, during which the practitioner places small, heated basalt stones along the spine and shimmies them over limbs, allows the earth’s gifts to mellow strained backs and extremities. The warmed rocks help muscles to open up while telepathically imparting the primordial memories of their enclosed fossils.

Customers may also apply this Groupon toward an upgraded treatment, such as a sports massage, which requires two sessions to rouse key muscles and downplay postgame soreness (first session $45 for 30 minutes, second $65 for 60 minutes). A 30-minute massage for two allows guests to bring spouses, friends, or favorite mail carriers along to share in the relaxation ($45 per person).