Though tattered ragamuffins with gambling hands are prone to dining with the fishes, it's the esteemed members of land society who dine atop the fishes. Today's Groupon merges seafaring and supping proclivities: for $58, you get a three-hour dinner cruise (up to a $112.92 value) with Spirit Cruises. This Groupon is valid any day of the week (including Saturday dinner cruises), and may be used for the Spirit of New York, which departs from the Chelsea Piers, or the Spirit of New Jersey, which departs from Lincoln Harbor Marina in Weehawken, NJ.

Spirit Cruises specializes in showing off New York Harbor with its luxurious, three-deck cruise ship. With a 600-person capacity, this Coast Guard–approved vessel lets passengers relax and engage in the convivial delights of a dinner cruise. Delicious comestibles, an interactive DJ, live performances, and dancing spicy up evenings that might otherwise be spent on a couch or petting Pat Boone's hamsters.

Grand dinner buffets feature the likes of salad, roasted beef and carved ham, wild Alaskan salmon, cheesecake, and much more, while potent potables are readily available for social lubrication or taking to the outdoor patio deck for a contemplative sup among the stars. Waiters not only provide standard service; they move from table to table serenading guests with popular songs and the theme music from Two and a Half Men. The cruise route offers breathtaking views of the Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, Batter Park City, statues of child-kings, and more. Whether cruising with a romantic interest, a gaggle of friends, or an off-putting poltergeist, you'll find plenty of eats, entertainment, and edifying socialization aboard a Spirit of New York or Spirit of New Jersey cruise.