Cruises have historically been the purview of society's privileged elite: politicians, billionaire scullery maids, and tomahawk missiles. Today's Groupon lets you indulge your guided fantasies and hit the harbor with a fistful of sunsets and running-man dance moves: for $49, you get a ticket to a three-hour dinner cruise of your choice (up to a $99.03 value after tax and fees) from Spirit Cruises aboard the Spirit of Philadelphia. This Groupon cannot be redeemed for holiday or specialty cruises. The rates vary throughout the week, and the maximum value reflects Saturday's dinner cruise.

Boating is a make-believe game for adults; it allows you to imagine your life as an adventurous business tycoon, high-class pirate, or boat-dwelling showman. Like Cleopatra being carried on a litter, the sea will smoothly transport you and your vessel on its back while the public envies and adores you from afar. To prepare for the journey into high seas of entertainment and dining, take a tour of the ship beforehand. After everyone's been escorted to a candlelit table, the dinner buffet lays out enough fine food to satisfy an appetitive pack of longshoremen with culinary degrees. You'll get your pick of salads, carving stations (meat only, no ivory), and hot entrees, sides, and desserts, featuring such items as smokehouse carved ham, roasted rosemary beef, pasta Italiano, smashed red potatoes with garlic, chocolate-truffle mousse, and New York–style cheesecake. Panoramic windows show the Delaware River unfolding before you as your friendly waiters don their singing caps and prove their serving skills match their melodic mastery. Sit back and enjoy a coffee and cake before strolling the upper deck or cutting a boat-rug as a live DJ keeps the hits coming.

Take in the city lights on the water as you cruise through an evening of succulent feasts for the ears, mouth, nose, eyes, and dance-buds. Show your city off to visiting in-laws, or take your sweetie out for a romantic night under the stars and finally reveal which one you're visiting from.