Despite their destructive cinematic depictions, most lasers are content with assisting slideshow presentations and translating DVDs for people who don’t speak fluent binary. Embrace the altruistic portion of the electromagnetic spectrum with today’s Groupon to Stadia Med Spa at the Texas Center for Athletes. Choose between the following options:

• For $199, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a small area (up to a $450 value), valid for the following areas:
• Bikini line
• Lower back
• Sideburns
• Underarms<p>
• For $269, you get six laser hair-removal treatments on a large area (up to a $990 value), valid for the following areas:
• Brazilian bikini
• Forearms
• Full face
• Lower legs<p>

Helmed by Dr. Jaime R. Garza, Stadia Med Spa helps patients shed strands permanently with laser hair-removal treatments performed inside an elegant office environment, which drew top spa honors in the 2010 and 2011 San Antonio Express-News Readers’ Choice Awards. Equipped with an integrated 250-watt, sapphire plate contact-cooling tip, the spa’s Sciton ClearScan system swiftly eradicates unsightly bristles without harming surrounding tissue, rendering hirsute regions as smooth as Barry White’s pet dolphin. Additionally, the equipment calls for no topical anesthetics or cooling gels, which significantly reduces mess.

Stadia Med Spa welcomes visitors with a granite-topped reception desk and sleekly curved ceiling accents representative of the superior smoothness clients receive after six hair-removal treatments. Though the number of treatments required varies based on a variety of factors, the spa’s follicle-foiling equipment is approved for all hair colors and skin types, and six treatments rids bodies of hair more effectively than tweezing, waxing, or begging.