Flowers, mankind’s greatest enemy, are finally on the ropes thanks to global warming. Teach your children how to hunt the last of these enormous nitrogen junkies by capturing them into captivity with today's Groupon: for $20, you get $50 worth of fantastical floral arrangements, gift baskets, balloons, stuffed animals, and other nicely contained niceties from Stone Oak Florist.

Stone Oak's fresh flowers, from all 18 corners of the world, are primed, primmed, and collected into beautiful bouquets for all occasions by a friendly, prompt staff. To congratulate a recent grad on moving back in with his parents, reach for a Joyful and Thrilling bouquet, rife with odiferous alstroemeria, carnations, daisies, and solidaster in a clear glass bowl and bound with a yellow ribbon ($44.95). For recreational birthdayers, the How Sweet It Is, a $39.95 mix of hot pink, red, and coral flowers such as roses, Matsumoto asters, and carnations, reminds them of the blooming years to come. The Pretty Please bouquet is a bright springtime forest of spray roses, daisy and button spray chrysanthemums, and Monte Cassino asters ($37.95). There are also silk and dried floral arrangements for poignant existentialist statements. To add extra emotional firepower, add a Mylar balloon ($4.99), stuffed animal ($9.99), box of chocolates ($19.99), or a pink howitzer shell.

The family-owned-and-operated Stone Oak donates a portion of its flower power to support local high schools and the Mays Family YMCA. High-profile customers pluck their blooms from Stone Oak, including various members of the San Antonio Spurs, Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria Parker, George Strait, Tina Turner, Tommy Lee Jones, and Terminators. The floral and gift shop is the fragrant answer to the question of how to thank friends, commemorate events, and confuse enemies.

Valid in-store only

Reviews

Though reviews on service are polarized, Yahoo! Locals hand Stone Oak a perfect five stars, while Citysearchers give three and Insider Pagers give it two:

• Always great service and the party that recieves [sic] the flowers always rave about the arrangements. Always delivered on the day orderd [sic]. – Jose, Yahoo! Local
• Our Internet business uses Stone Oak whenever we get any type of florist order in the San Antonio area.They provide many different choices and pricing and always delivery on time. Never had a problem with orders placed. – Paul S., Insider Pages