Giving yourself a massage, like throwing yourself a surprise birthday party or asking for your own hand in marriage, is a surefire disappointment. Leave kneading to the knowledgeable with today's Groupon to StressBusters Lifestyle Day Spa in Laguna Hills. Choose between the following options:

For $65, you get a prenatal massage package (a $130 value). The package includes:

• 30-minute prenatal massage
• Prenatal foot treatment
30-minute organic prenatal facial

• For $97, you get a post-partum massage package (a $194 value). The package includes:

  • 30-minute post-partum rehabilitation massage
  • 75-minute infant-massage group class
    
    

Infant massage group classes are held from 10 a.m. to 11:15 a.m. Saturdays and Sundays at the Women's Wellness Center at Mission Hospital in Mission Viejo.

Certified in advanced prenatal massage, the massage therapists at StressBusters, the exclusive referral of Saddleback Hospital's Childbirth Education Department and dozens of OB/GYNs, sooth the strained muscles of moms-to-be, new moms, and infants. During the prenatal massage package, baby bearers ease into a leaned-back seated position that relives joints from pressure as palms knead away tension with a soft pitter-patter that soothes womb inhabitants with inspirational Morse-code power ballads. Next, gentle hands smooth organic servello foot lotion across lower appendages, relieving swelling and reinforcing load-bearing arches. A 30-minute facial concludes the treatment, enhancing pregnancy glows with a gentle cleansing and a specially formulated mask that douses cells with moisture.

Mothers who have completed the spawning cycle can opt for the post-partum massage package, which includes the first of six post-partum rehabilitation massages in which bellies receive realignment as fingers rearrange muscles into their original formation with the ease of a Rubik's-cube-world-record holder. Next, massage therapists slather abdomens in a hydrating gel that helps to restore skin's firmness. To relieve infants after their arduous journeys through birth canals, parents learn safe Swedish-massage techniques in the infant-massage class. During the 75-minute class, an infant-massage educator imparts methods to help improve the respiratory, circulatory, and gastrointestinal systems of tykes between one week and four months old. Mothers and fathers will return home with proper techniques to relax their future adults, quell temper tantrums, strengthen baby-parent relations, and relieve anxiety from traumatic diaper changes.