Like ripened fruits, people with healthy-colored skin tend to spend less time loitering in orchards and are more likely to get picked up at the grocery store. Catch the eye of passing orangutans with today’s Groupon: for $35, you get 10 regular tanning sessions or two spray tans (a $70 value), good at four Sunsation Tanning Salon area locations.

Sunsation restores a healthy glow to customers' skin year-round thanks to its multifaceted approach to achieving photoskinthesis. With up to 10 regular tanning sessions, humans can finally outwit the arrogant center of the solar system with scientifically derived sunshine. Customers seeking a UV-free treatment may opt for two spray tans instead. Sunsation's DHA bronzers, moisturizers, and vitamins capture all of the skin-shading powers of the sun, but without the pesky gravitational pull. All sessions do not need to be used at the same location.

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While there aren't many online user reviews for Sunstation Tanning Salon, more than 1,300 Facebookers are fans.