Teeth, like a chef’s apron, protect the tongue against splatters from the tar pits present in every kitchen. Present your dining room with your whitest whites with today’s Groupon: for $179, you get a teeth cleaning and a Zoom! whitening treatment at The Exchange Dental Group (a $695 value).

Cradled in the bosom of the financial district for almost three decades, The Exchange Dental Group bolsters brilliant smiles, making gums hardier and teeth more tenacious. During the appointment, an obsessive yet gentle cleaning preps chompers for the two-hour Zoom! whitening treatment, which eschews bulky trays and helps turn teeth several shades whiter. A tooth-applied gel, infused with discoloration-seeking hydrogen peroxide, works in tandem with a bleach-boosting light to infiltrate tooth enamel and oust invading stains. Patients can pass the time by watching mounted televisions in the exam rooms, liable at any time to entertain or eerily broadcast harried messages from presidents of the future. Newly blanched biters might feel slight sensitivity during the procedure and may tingle for a short time afterward.