Pets, like children, require proper care and attention to ensure they don't get bored and bite the mailman. Pamper furry ankle biters with today's Groupon to The Pampered Pet Hotel & Spa. Choose from the following options:

• For $15, you get bathing and brushing for a small dog up to 20 pounds (a $30 value).
• For $25, you get $50 worth of bathing and a haircut for a small dog up to 20 pounds.
• For $34, you get dog-boarding accommodations in a standard-size room for two nights (up to a $68 value).

Staffed 24/7 by trained professionals, The Pampered Pet lavishes labradors with soft padded floors, air conditioning, and luxurious organic grooming services. All grooming services commence with indulgent lavender and oatmeal baths, followed by an organic shampoo in scents such as revitalizing eucalyptus and cooling herbal mint. Treat terriers to a bath and brush, and they’ll enjoy a brush out, hand dry, nail trim, and eye and ear cleaning. The bath-and-light-trim option also gets canines an added haircut, teeth cleaning, and conditioning coat spray ($45); both services can remove the unconscionable stench of that which he or she encounters in his or her daily stinkromp.

For overnight sojourns, The Pampered Pet's standard dog suite comforts homesick hounds with a deluxe bed and fleece cover, climate control, and calming ambient music. Trainers will give pups two walks per day before returning guests to their sleeping quarters, which also come equipped with a night light to soothe Fido when he wakes up frightened from a nightmare about attending obedience school fully clothed.