Much like robots, children, and robotic children, bikes need to be regularly recalibrated to keep them from developing human emotions. Keep your bike performing at its functional, unfeeling best with today's Groupon: for $33, you get a full bicycle tune-up at The Roll-Up Bike Shop in Oakland (an $80 value).

At The Roll-Up Bike Shop, a staff of seasoned cyclists keep two-wheelers in top form by providing careful and comprehensive tune-ups designed to retain their roadworthiness. The professional pedal prodding commences with a brake check to make sure bikes can stop on a dime or before the brick wall that dropped it, before turning the attention to the gears to ensure a smooth and tight trek. Wheels, wheel bearings, and headsets are checked for proper alignment to keep tandems turning true, and bottom brackets are adjusted to keep cranksets rotating as freely as a Ferris wheel in outer space. The friendly, art-filled bike shop generally requires around a week for full tune-up turnaround, so busy customers should be sure to call ahead to check the shop's workload before dropping their ride off for its physical.