The unrealistic portrayal of cars in TV shows leads children to believe all cars have squealing tires, thunderous engines, and the guts to talk back to David Hasselhoff. Give your car a new image with today's Groupon: for $79, you get a full automobile detailing at The Smart Car Wash in Woodbridge, Virginia (a $240 value).

The Smart Car Wash's intelligent auto scrubbers utilize eco-friendly technologies to clean vehicles without transposing too much grime onto the earth or into the atmosphere. Full detailing begins with the Platinum wash, during which a water-recycling system developed by the Navy collaborates with laser-guided devices to surgically remove detritus from wheeled bodies and conserve the fluid that makes bathing and fog possible. The treatment also pampers exteriors with a triple-foam polish, Lustrashield sealant, an undercarriage washing, and a tire treatment. Next, technicians vacuum up small stowaways and shampoo away smells and stains from every fabric fiber. Cars exhale with relief as specialists remove grime from under panels and smile bashfully as dust animals are convinced to leave by the loudest, dustiest-sounding radio station. After paint restoration, deionization, and disinfection, cars can illuminate their nostrils to indicate a fragrance selection.