Children who wear glasses endure wisecracks including “four-eyes” and “Einstein,” while those with perfect vision bask in compliments such as “two-eyes” and “Oppenheimer.” Sharpen your sight with today's Groupon: for $199, you get $2,000 toward bilateral LASIK eye surgery at Tidewater Eye Centers’ Laser Vision Institute in Chesapeake, with follow up appointments available at their locations in Chesapeake, Virginia Beach, and Portsmouth. The cost of the procedure is usually $2,400 per eye, with a total cost of $4,800 for both eyes.

Tidewater Eye Centers, recognized in three categories including Best Place for Laser Vision Correction by Best of Hampton Roads 2010 and 2011, maneuvers patients closer to 20/20 vision with high-tech CustomVue equipment and quick procedures. After an initial consultation with one of the center's experienced doctors, the staff creates a detailed treatment plan for each client, mapping the cornea to identify its ideal shape and potential locations of buried treasure. After anesthetic drops numb the eye, blade-free IntraLase technology creates a hinged flap on the cornea's surface, preparing it to undergo subtle reshaping by computer-controlled lasers that automatically adjust to compensate for eye movements. Unlike having the Large Hadron Collider balanced on your face, the procedure will usually cause a slight sensation of pressure on the eye, but no pain. Tidewater Eye Centers also specialize in CustomVue PRK surface procedures.

Although the procedure may only take a few minutes, visitors should expect to spend two to three hours at the center, or longer if a passing UFO accidentally stops time. More information on the procedure, its side effects, and the practice is available in a thorough FAQ.