Bartenders endure economic slumps better than nearly any other profession, bested only by economic experts who interpret economic slumps on the bar TV. Step on the path to fiscal solvency with today's Groupon: for $199, you get a 32-hour full-certification professional mixology class with job-placement assistance at Toledo Bartending School held at Ottawa Tavern. (up to a $495 value).

Toledo Bartending School teaches would-be suds-slingers and mad-scientist mixologists not only how to pour the perfect drink but also how to maintain the social center of any bar and make patrons feel at home. The 32-hour certification course lasts four Saturdays, and runs from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Themes rotate depending on the week, with lesson plans including martinis and Manhattans, tropical drinks, shooters and party drinks doubling as fuel for fire art. Sessions of 6–15 people take place in a simulated bar, equipped with soda-gun systems, three compartment sinks, stainless-steel ice bins, mixers, professional glassware, liquor speed racks, and places to keep your arms. A working tap allows training to incorporate the Anheuser-Busch and Guinness beer curriculum. Each class is divided into 25% lecture time and 75% practice time, ensuring students get plenty of hands-on experience after instructors demonstrate how to make each libation. Class time also includes role-playing and simulated happy hours to hone speed and efficiency after which students will receive job-placement assistance and extensive training in miniature plastic-sword fighting.

Though Toledo Bartending School sometimes features a discounted price online, this Groupon still represents the best deal available.