Without teeth, tongues would slither out of mouths and go on to lead unfulfilling lives catching raindrops and licking strangers' faces. Keep a stir-crazy taste-muscle contained in its gleaming cage with today's Groupon: $65 gets you a comprehensive dental exam, cleaning, and x-rays at Traders Point Dental (a $323 value).

Traders Point Dental's friendly staff of smile sharpeners is led by Dr. Sang Kwon, who uses a genuine concern for his patients' concerns to establish a trusting relationship with their pearly mouth projections. Wait at ease in the comfortable, modern waiting room, sipping complimentary coffee or surfing the net, until a friendly staff member calls your carefully chosen pseudonym. Inside the exam room, a panoramic x-ray looks deep into your cranial cavern, expertly decoding your mouth's mysterious future while you sit back and watch televisions mounted on both the wall and ceiling. Finally, ultrasonic technology will remove plaque and tartar buildup beneath the gum line, targeting gunk with intolerable tickling until it has no choice but to vacate.

Customers using dental insurance can apply value toward other services.