If you can’t swim, the only way to win a triathlon is to bring your trained shark, which, while easily disguisable in the water, would be harder to miss on a bike. Become your own finned advantage with today’s Groupon to United States Swim Academy in Coral Springs. Choose between the following options:

• For $45, you get one 45-minute group swimming lesson per week for one month or one 30-minute "You and Me" parent and baby group swimming lessons for babies ages three months to three years old (a $131 value). This option is valid for ages 3 months and up.
For $99, you get one 30-minute private swimming lesson per week for one month (a $200 value). This option is valid for adults only.

United States Swim Academy’s expert instructors introduce proto-mermaids to underwater capering with a host of classes aimed at subaqueous kickers of all ages. With 60,000 successful graduates, the swimming program, born from Karen King’s 33 years of SwimAmerica experience, introduces intrepid bipeds to the world of underwater safety and snorkel tea parties. Meeting once a week in a heated indoor pool, half-hour group classes cater to swimmers of all amalgamations, from newly submerged 3-month-olds to whale-racing 5-year -olds to ex-selkie adults. Small class sizes, a four to one ratio for most classes, ensure undivided attention from the diligently trained swim-masters, while private adult lessons eschew over-zealous pirate re-enactments from any other students.