Without the loosening effects of massage, shoulders would stiffen into immobility and fall victim to freeloading parrots and the burden of carrying Earth's heavyset brother, Girth. Pamper your perches with today's Groupon to Urban Massage. Choose between the following options:

• For $19, you get a 30-minute sports/medical or Swedish massage (a $40 value). For an extra $5, you may upgrade to a deep-tissue massage, or for an extra $10, you may add an aroma-touch technique to any massage. You may also upgrade to a 55-minute massage for an additional $25.
For $32, you get a 55-minute sports/medical or Swedish massage (a $65 value). For an extra $10, you may upgrade to a deep-tissue massage or add an aroma-touch technique to any massage.

At Urban Massage, licensed massage therapists treat specific symptoms with the strokes, movements, and varied pressure associated with specialized massage techniques. A gentle Swedish relaxation massage unravels pent-up stress and boosts circulation, and a sports or medical massage focuses on specific problem areas to treat musculoskeletal conditions or injuries brought on by picking fights with redwood trees. For an extra fee, clients may upgrade to a deep-tissue kneading to target chronic tension, or add on an aroma-touch technique to work away stress in the soothing redolence of eight essential oils. The dedicated therapists at Urban Massage celebrate city living with their downtown location, featuring a wide-open gallery space decorated with the work of local artists.