Though friendly fish with enormous ears inhabit nearly 75% of the earth, most humans still deliver their best serenades to unresponsive loofahs in the shower. Introduce yourself to an aquatic audience with today's Groupon: for $20, you get an introductory scuba class (a $39.95 value) at Xplore Scuba, located in Fort Mill.

Xplore Scuba equips erstwhile landlubbers to explore the ocean's wily blue underbelly. This basic introductory course acts as a first step toward greater subaqueous adventuring, with near-amphibious instructors first schooling students on dry land before letting them loose in controlled waters. Students wary of traditional bathtub-and-twisty-straw snorkeling will delight as Xplore Scuba professionals mold top-quality gear to their limbs and lungs, facilitating safe diving fun for the remainder of the three-hour experience.

Fresh-faced aqua addicts may wish to take advantage of Xplore Scuba's other adventuring offerings after their introductory course. The sea-worn swabbies lead trips to exotic underwater quarries and blue Bahaman waters and also teach advanced classes on search and rescue techniques, shipwreck exploration, and proper man-to-blowfish fencing etiquette. Gear-servicing is also available.