For centuries mankind has envied pizza dough and wondered how we too could be kneaded to relaxed, savory states without paying for the luxury of being escorted via wooden paddle to a Sicilian brick oven. For $45, today's Groupon gets new clients a 60-minute massage ($65) and their pick of aromatherapy oil companion ($25) from Zama Massage (a $90 total value). An appointment at Zama's Sullivan's Gulch temple of rubbin' is required.

The experienced therapists at Zama know how to make muscles melt in a protein pool. Choose from four relaxing massages: the Swedish (soothing, relaxing, de-stressing), sports massage (full-body option that stretches tight muscles and returns them to their full, active potential), deep-tissue massage (alleviates tremendous pain, reduces debilitating scar tissue, and decreases incidents of stress-yelling), or ashiatsu (ancient method that applies deep pressure from the therapist's feet).

Pair muscle unknotting with a sense-awakening scent blend such as geranium and orange Balancing; tingly tea tree; lavender; eucalyptus and peppermint Muscle Relief; the lemon-, peppermint-, and rosemary-slicked Revitalizing; or the tea-like Stress Relief, with jasmine and bergamot.

If you don’t believe that a massage would do you a heap of good, your denial is denying your muscles muscle-joy. Put your body in the trustworthy, palm-approved hands of Zama’s therapists, who have years of experience and are trained at homing in on and obliterating tension like a cruise missile of bliss.

Though you may purchase multiple Groupons for friends, you may only redeem one for yourself.

Reviews

Citysearchers give Zama Massage a perfect five stars:

• The place is lovely and quiet. Each room has its own personality…I imagine you could be happy with any of the practitioners at Zama. It's a jewel in NE Portland. – Gretchen
• I had the great pleasure of an hour long Swedish massage with Amy…It was so relaxing…I loved the aromatherapy oil. – elenamaria